All That's Left Is the Baking

I'm curled up right now in a red flannel blanket having just finished a rather large bowl of reheated spaghetti that was drenched in a thick meat sauce of serious comfort food caliber.  The kids are outside playing in the backyard breathing in crisp winter air as the wind slaps their already red, chapped cheeks.  We only just changed out of our pajamas, though I'm not really sure why.  We only changed from flannel pajama bottoms into sweat pants which we will likely go to bed in. Strike that, most of us changed out of our pajamas.  As I look out of the window now I can see that the middle sprite threw her boots on with her pajamas.   That is the kind of day we are having.  It's my favorite kind of day.

The boy crept out of his room this morning before the girls were out of bed so that he could catch them before they woke me up.  He kept them quiet so that I could sleep in this morning. It was the best Christmas gift he could have given me.  He's too good to be true some days.  He's also an old soul who can sense when it will benefit everyone for his exhausted mama to get some sleep.

I have been tired lately.  This semester has drained me.  I finished my finals and immediately felt the need to sleep for days, likely because I hadn't slept for more than a few hours a night for weeks at that point.  I question this endeavor, daily.  I know that I'm going somewhere and deep down I know that going back to school is the best choice for our long term well-being.  But some days, it just seems impossible.  I'm thirty-one with three kids. I have a job where I make less than most non-profit workers and I'm pushing myself to get this degree in three years.  I'm tired.

I need days like today.  I need a few of them, all in a row.  Days like this let my shoulders relax.  I caught up on all of my favorite blogs this morning.  And I pulled out my volume of Frost.  I needed my mind to be filled with something other than stress and worry.  My mind feels quieter and inspired.

Last night I wrapped the last of the Christmas gifts.  I kept it simple this year, but I was also intentionally thoughtful with each gift.  I think they will all be pleasantly surprised.  Other intentions were not fulfilled this year.  I didn't get more than a handful of Christmas cards mailed out.  And I didn't get gifts to all of the friends I had hoped to.  I wanted to say thank you for all of their support throughout the year.  Maybe I'll say thank you with a New Years gift instead.  I've done what I can and I'm letting go of the rest.   It is time for all to be done so that I can join the sprites in the countdown.  All that's left to do is the baking.

The scent of cinnamon and butterscotch is thick in the kitchen right now as the Christmas cookies bake.  Soon I'll call them in and we'll all sit down to dinner.  We'll light the advent candle and share stories from our lazy winter day.  My gift to myself this year is to enjoy these days.  They are short and before long they will be gone.  Three days until Christmas.   Three precious days.