Mr. Owl!?

"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop!?

A good question. Let's find out.
A One... A two-HOO... A tha-three..(crunch sound effect)
A Three!
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know."
-1970 Tootsie Pop commercial

Mr. Owl, how many snaps does it take to get a good picture of four kids!? More than three, that's for sure. Try ten or so, plus another person using another camera taking ten or so more at the same time. Then if your lucky you might get one, one I tell you, where they are all looking at the camera, and, if the sun is really shining down on you, they might all be smiling. But we'll call "all looking at the camera" good enough. Because if you stand there too long you have a full blown child mutiny on your hands and they'll threaten to throw both of your cameras in the shark tank. After all, they're already wearing matching outfits for you and sitting calmly on a bench pretending to really like each other, when what they really want to do is spill chocolate ice cream (or pureed carrots) right down the front of those beautiful matching outfits. So good enough is, well, good enough. Luckily, good enough is pretty cute.

The Life of a Politician

It's been a big week for Analiese. On Wednesday she was elected as one of our town commissioners by her peers!

"Aren't you a little young to be a town commissioner? Why yes, yes I am."*

She was thrilled at first. I mean look at that stage and the big leather chair. The life of a politician seemed grand. Until, that is, she sat through her first town meeting. She realized that some people have really silly ideas about the way a town should be run. And people don't like it if you want to spend all of their tax dollars on ice cream parties. She constantly threw up her hands in exasperation.

Luckily, her term only spanned thirty minutes after which she retired to the town green with a Popsicle and started her autobiography on the struggles of being a politician.

She then settled into retirement by taking a walking tour of historic downtown Matthews. Without the weight of public demand on her shoulders she was able to find an appreciation for early 20th century architecture. And she even found time to stop and smell the roses, literally.


With politics behind her, her latest project is trying to convince her mom that raising chickens in the back yard is not only a good idea, but a great one. She's realized that this job may be harder than running a town ever was, as her mom is not budging on her firm "no". Although her mom has agreed to let her visit the chicks at the hardware store whenever she likes. Being seven, she'll take what she can get.




*Phineas and Ferb joke. We love that show.

Male Extinction

It was 13 degrees outside when we got up this morning. We all bundled up in winter gear before we headed out into the frosty day. All of us except the boy. I pointed at his jacket. He just nodded his head no and started out the door. I told him to at least put on a hoodie. At the blast of cold air he turned around and grabbed his hat too. I let him go. This is one of my "pick your battles" issues. If he's cold enough he'll wear a jacket. Right?

On the way to school we talked about how this was an unusually cold December and I mentioned off hand that he wouldn't be as cold if he had worn a jacket. He told me jackets are embarrassing. I started to tell him how ridiculous that sounded but at this point we were at the school and I watched children stumble out of cars. All of the girls were bundled in down jackets, scarves, gloves, hats, and Uggs up to their knees. The boys on the other hand were getting out in jeans and a hoodie at most. I saw one kid in shorts and a T-shirt. May I remind you that it's 13 degrees outside.

That's when I thought that maybe this should be a battle more moms pick. Because apparently the male version of our species would all die off before they hit puberty if it weren't for nagging mothers.

They'd all be standing in a circle in 13 degree weather in shorts and T-shirts. "What? I'm not cold. You cold?" "No, I'm less cold than you. I could stand out here naked at 13 below." "Yea. That's my teeth chattering. What? I'm not cold." Then they'd all freeze to death in one big act of machismo.

Deep down men will always be wild animals. And at this age they are completely illogical wild animals just feeding off of a flood of testosterone. So they'll freeze because not freezing makes them embarrassingly wimpy.

Other animals know to come in out of the cold. Our cat stays outside for no longer than five minutes at time. Then again she's female. Maybe all of the male cats are sitting in a circle somewhere saying, "What? I'm not cold. You cold?".

Funny Wish List

With the Christmas season here, I thought it would be a good time to ask the kids what they'd like for Christmas this year. I knew exactly what they were going to say. Chris wants a bike, Analiese wants an American Girl doll (not happening), Sicily wants her own Legos (because Chris doesn't want girl germs on his). And of course, a long list of other things they've seen at friend's houses and on TV.

I'm their mom. I know these things.

Only that's not what they said.

Instead Analiese led with, "I'd like a really big bag of Cheetos!". And then Chris said, "I don't like Cheetos, but I'll take a Butterfinger and maybe one of those cool Christmas bobble head things." Of course Sicily had to be heard, "I want...fruit snacks, the kind we don't get..and....a Hershey bar."

Really? That's it.

Pause.

Then Analiese said, "Yea. Oh, and an orange flashlight!"

I'm not sure what to do with this. On one hand, I could go with it and make this the least expensive Christmas ever. On the other hand, I feel like maybe our children are a little deprived of treats. Then again, apparently when junk food is a rarity it really is a treat. That's not such a bad thing.

One thing I'm sure of, the stockings will be stuffed with Cheetos and fruit snacks and Butterfingers. That's a Christmas wish list that's budget approved.

Green Eggs and Ham

I was treated today to a little Seuss, the musical version. Oh, the Thinks You Can Think. I was told about Horton and McElligot's pool. And of course, we had Green Eggs and Ham. It was delightful.

So I thought I'd share a little Seussical with you to brighten your weekend. Who isn't cheered by Horton or the Cat in the Hat or even that nasty Grinch? And Dr. Seuss set to music, sung by some pretty awesome second graders, is even better! "Green Eggs and Ham" anyone?

The Cat Said Meow

She came into the kitchen with a little pout on her face. She sat down on the stool beside me, put her head in her hands, and let out a big sigh. I tried not to laugh. She's just about the cutest thing in the world when she sticks that bottom lip out and flashes those big puppy dog brown eyes. I asked her what was wrong.

"I've looked for Analiese everywhere. I looked in the backyard. I looked in our room. I looked at Tessa's house. I even asked Tiger and all she said was meow and that's not very helpful."

Oh, my Sicily. It's very disappointing to find out that a cat isn't a reliable source of information.

The Watermelon Thief

When I opened the fridge there was a knife and a hole in the previously untouched watermelon that I was saving for our picnic. I called the little one into the kitchen and asked her if she had helped herself to a treat. She swore that she hadn't. Blonde curls were bouncing side to side as she shook her head to say "no, not me". She didn't realize that the juice dripping from her chin gave her away. She licked her lips all the way to time out. I tried not to laugh. In her defense, it was an irresistibly good watermelon.

Happy Fireworks Day!

Like all good Americans on the 4th of July we grilled some delicious food, donned flag colors, and wanted to end the day with fireworks. So we drove out to the US White Water Center, hoping to see a great display. We had the added bonus of getting to watch people flip their rafts in the rapids while we waited. Don't underestimate the entertainment of watching soaked, flustered people trying to get back in a raft while moving steadily down stream. We spread a blanket, ate blueberries, and enjoyed the free laughs.

The boy ditched us to watch fireworks with his friends. (So begins the breaking of a mother's heart.) The middle girl was high on Benadryl from her latest poison oak outbreak and just about fell asleep on her dad's lap. (That girl loves nature too much for her own good.) So that left us with the little one who impatiently waited all day to see big explosions in the sky. And when the fireworks started so did the questions.

Sicily:

• "Mom, why do they make that big sound."
  

• "Mom, how do they make them go over there and not over here?"

• "Are they going to fall on our heads?"

• "Mom, why does that one look like a flower?"

• "Why does that one look like a sparkler?"

• "Are you sure they aren't going to fall on our heads?"

• "Well, then where do they fall and does it burn what it falls on?"

• "Why is that one so big?"

• "Why did that one go so high?"

• "How do they make colors?"

Me: "I don't know, honey. Ask your dad?"

Steven: "It has something to do with physics."

Sicily thinks about that for a second, and then:

• "Daddy doesn't know. So why is that one pink and not blue?"

• "But why don't you know why it's pink and not blue?"

• "I think you don't know if they're going to fall on our heads."

Me: "Look Sicily, that one's a circle!"

Sicily:

• "No, it's an oval."

• "Why is it an oval?"

• "I don't really like fireworks. They're too loud and they're going to fall on my head."

Oh, children. They have such a lovely ability to keep us humble by occasionally making us feel just a little bit stupid.


I hope all of you enjoyed a wonderfully over analyzed fireworks display too. Happy 4th!

Jane and the Dragon

Jane and the Dragon is one of our favorite Saturday morning cartoons. Jane is a lovely role model for little girls. Sugar and some serious-bad-guy-kicking spice. I love that Jane can stand on her own and beat any male knight, but is still soft and caring. I can't wait until they're old enough to read the actual book. Here Knight Sicily proves that busting bad guys doesn't belong to boys. You can wear a dress and floral boots and still be major tough stuff. (And props to Analiese for your very dramatic hand-over-forehead bad guy fall.)

and the victorious knight strolls away, pony tail only slightly off center.

*note: I feel I should say this is as violent as our imaginative play gets. Knights, Dragons, and Princesses are stories we play out. We aren't the gun supporting type.

Silly Bands, Silly Trends

Have you seen these? Or is it only the children in our town that have gone crazy over rubber bands? Granted, they're shaped rubber bands but, my children, they are still rubber bands. Yet, if you walk around our little town you will see kids everywhere with colorful rubber bands up to their elbows. They're called silly bands and of course they have invaded our house too. The upside and the downside is that they are cheap, about $1 for a back of 20. So kids can get lots of bands for the change they find in the couch cushions. LOTS of bands! They're worn like bracelets and they pop back into their shape when taken off. Kids wear them to school, to church, to the park and they trade them. Like any other silly trend, there are rare ones that any child would give ten bands for. The other day I was out running errands and spotted some packs of them. Given that they are selling out everywhere, I decided to pick them up. (Yes, that's right. Rubber bands are selling out. Didn't see that one coming.) Not knowing it, I scored major points because apparently the pack I picked up had a kangaroo. Kangaroos are big! I would really be super mom if I could find a penguin.

Oh, the memories. Did we look this funny to our parents when we bought into trends?



*note: My son's hand says peace with a peace sign. That makes me laugh.

Oh my sweet, sweet girl...

I take the older two kids to school every morning. Around here we start school very early. 7:20am to be exact. Which means I have to leave here at 6:50am to get them there on time. Which means I wake them at 6:20am. That's very early for my sleepy heads. Too early for the little one. She usually sleeps through all of the bumps and moans. The groggy yawns and the sleepy pleas for a few more minutes. The cereal bowls thrown a little too carelessly into the sink. Backpacks being stuffed, lunches made, and shoes searched for. She sleeps through all of this early morning noise. Steven leaves as soon as I return and for some reason the door closing behind him is her alarm clock. Maybe it's because he leaves in a bundled mess of hurry. Jacket, wallet, cell phone, lunch, keys, name badge, tie all held precariously in one hand. Door slammed with his free hand. (It's ok. We aren't particularly good at mornings around here.) So she gets up, hair matted to face, hand clutching bunny, ready for snuggling. We climb back into my bed for a snuggle in front of an episode of Curious George. That's how it usually goes.

This morning was different. When I walked back in the door, I wasn't greeted by her sleepy eyes. I found her crying on the stairs. Steven was sick today. So he wasn't getting ready for work like normal. He was buried beneath a pile of blankets and pillows in our bed. Apparently, he was buried so well that she didn't think he was there. She thought that we had all left her. That she was home alone. She woke up to complete abandonment. That would make anyone cry. As I walked in the front door, she jumped from the stairs into my arms and cried a little harder. So I scooped her up and we went back to my bed. The trauma of it all must have exhausted her because she went back to sleep. And so did I.

Oh my sweet, sweet girl. We love you so. My mornings wouldn't be nearly as warm without you.

Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle...

Analiese found a piece of cardboard in the recycling bin and thought it looked very much like a cell phone. So she found some tape to hold it together and a marker to make the buttons. Voila! Instant cell phone. I was so excited to find that my children were putting some of my earth saving mantras into practice. My pride was quickly deflated when she offered to make one for her sister who instead took Analiese's now unused pink plastic princess phone and then sat around talking on two pink plastic phones. Well, I guess technically she is reusing. Maybe we're getting there.

Things You Learn From Children...

It's never too cold for hopscotch. It turns out icy patches add an extreme factor that you don't get in the summer and added layers just make you look cuter when you try to hop on one foot.

funny things kids say...

The boy was quietly playing a video game last night when I walked in and let him know that it was bedtime. He sat there a minute and then he said to the tv,

"Well, I'd love to stay and save the world but I have a bedtime."

I laughed so hard that he got to stay up for an extra ten minutes.