A New Home

I've been exiled from the modern world for the last four weeks at the hands of local internet providers. But I'm back now. Back in civilization. Back at the keyboard with many stories of summer adventure to share.

I left you with s'mores. A good place to leave anyone. We've had many s'mores since then. And watermelon and fresh off the vine tomatoes and watermelon. Did I mention watermelon? I love watermelon, especially in the summer.

In between all of that eating, we've done some traveling and we moved. I think I'll pick up at the move, since that's what really kicked off our summer. We only moved down the street. But this move has felt significant. It seems to be making this new chapter in our life more real and less surreal, though I still feel a hint of surreal hanging in the air. It's the first move I've made in my adult life without my husband. There are boxes sitting in the garage waiting to be moved to his new place. Some days I can't quite wrap my head around that. Some days I feel like this has to be a bad dream that will disappear when I awake. But then I know it's not. He's really going to take all of his stuff and start a life separate from mine. That terrifies me and makes me want to cry.

Other days, I go through my day content, as if a new normal is starting to sink in. (And to think it only took six months to not wake up on the verge of tears every morning.) I slip through rooms that already feel like home. This new place feels right for us four. We are forming new routines and carving out our own special places. For Chris, that would be twelve feet up in a pine tree in the backyard where he has built a fort with his own hands. For Analiese, it's spinning around the floor of her room with her ipod blasting in her ears. For Sicily, it's pushing high on the swings until she can jump off and fly before landing like a cat, gracefully on her feet. For me, it's curled up in bed alone with a glass of wine watching Gilmore Girls and feeling, all at once, home and happy and calm. On those days I know I'm going to be alright.

We are well. We are happy. We are working out the emotional mess of this year. We are home in this place and it feels just right for this moment.