Thanksgiving

We got away for Thanksgiving this year. We went to visit my sweet sister, Hilary, and her beautiful family. It was a lovely departure from our everyday. Simply put: we needed a break. So we had our turkey in Tennessee. We ate and slept and saw Santa. Some of us, the younger one and her cousin, were not so fond of the jolly fellow. Screaming scared to be exact. They made it clear that jolly, or not, sitting on a stranger's lap is in no way fun. So they rode a moose instead.

This was after their crazy moms stayed up until 3am the night before waiting in line in 30 degree weather to buy them the perfect presents. At one point we devised a plan for surviving the mobs which basically came down to "forget me and save yourself". Good times.

Overall, I'd say it's a Thanksgiving I won't forget. Not only because of the turkey, the crazy shopping, and the scary Santa, but also because this was a Thanksgiving I needed. It's been a hard year. A year that has made it hard to be thankful. I didn't get out our Thanksgiving tree this year. I just wasn't in the mood for another holiday to remind me that I had lost something that I loved. But I think I missed out by not taking the time to be thankful. What I needed was to be reminded that I still have so much to love. So much to be thankful for.

This year has definitely been hard. I'm hurt. But I think I've started to miss a lot in this fog of a broken heart. I don't want to miss anything else. When I step outside of myself I know that I have a very good life. I have beautiful children. I have a family that loves and supports me. I am very well provided for. I have all that I need and more. I'm going to be OK.

I need Christmas this year. I need it to soak into my very being and bring me back to life. I need to let myself feel again. I need to feel beauty. I need to see it. I need the peace and joy and love of Christmas. I need to start picking up the broken glass. I need to find the celebration in life upside-down.