Muddled Reflections...update on encouraged

It's been a month since I told you that we received an offer on our house. A month since I told you that the deal was a short sale. A month since I told you that our house future was in the hands of some random person at a bank. It's been a month since I told you that we signed a lease on a funky little house. A month since I told you that we were walking in a spirit of hopefulness.

It took a month for this deal to go through. A month of fraying nerves and uncertainty. A month of stressed husband and wife. A month full of days doubting hopefulness. A month full of days cursing at inanimate papers. It took a month to be released.

It will take about two week to physically move on. A week to downsize our two level with a garage house into a one level without a garage house. A week to sort and pack and say goodbye. Another week to sort and unpack and feel our way around the new.

But what of our hearts? What of our trust in ourselves? What of our sense of home? How long will it take to move on? How long will we be sad? When will we feel settled again? Will we auto drive back to this old house or give out this address when someone asks "where's home"? When will the unfair leave our minds?

Yesterday we got the keys to our new rental. So last night we got a babysitter and we went on a date. Then we went to the funky little house. We went to make choices; what to bring, what to leave. But something happened during that time. As we were trying to picture it, the old blue couch here, my oversized dining table there, we also pictured ourselves among our things. We saw a child playing on a swing we could put in that old tree. We saw a room filled with dolls, and dress up clothes. We saw a boy laying on the floor, video game controller in hand. We saw a fire going in the fire place and a lovely family meal. We saw a Christmas tree and stockings hung. We started to see that the things we actually love had little nooks that fit them perfectly. We saw that life goes on.

I'm not saying that the next few weeks will be a breeze. The next few weeks will bring the same stresses and challenges that every move brings. I think that this particular move will be very emotional for us all. And I will probably have Steven move the couch around the living room four or five times like I do with every move. But we will go on. Eventually this funky house will feel like home too, even if I do think the kitchen is seriously ugly.

We are a strong family. We will lean on each other and comfort each other and each do our part. Well, the smallest one might make some mischief and order others to do her part, but that will just make it feel like a normal day at the Hardgrave house.