encouraged

I was (In)couraged today. This year I have been a whole mess of DIScouraged. But I was reminded today of how important our attitude is. It's about perspective really. I can choose to appreciate and truly give thanks in all situations. Or I can groan and complain and say how unfair life is. (I think I've been doing a bit much of the latter.)

The truth is we've had something good happen. I've been scared to tell you. I've been scared that if I said it out loud it would go away. I'm walking on egg shells these days. Letting myself become anxious about change. As if there is some dark cloud following me around that rains only when it senses my happiness. Given the year, it's not that crazy of an assumption. But I can't live like that. I can't live scared of letting a little hope slip out. How sad would that be?

So the good thing that happened? We got an offer on the house. I know. It's a big deal. But we're not in a simple house selling situation. It will be a short sale. So we are at the whims of the banks. We have to wait for their approval. So now you see why I'm scared that it might fall apart.

But in the spirit of hopefulness, we started looking at rentals to move into. And that's when I got downright angry. (You can pray for my husband now. Obviously I'm an emotional rollercoaster.) We were looking at these tiny apartments and old rundown houses, and I got angry. I got angry at the situation. I was angry that because of some random out of our control event that happened 9 months ago, we have to give up this old house and move into something considerably less appealing. It's not fair.

As I am calming this morning, I'm starting to accept that it isn't fair, but that I can't change it. I can't make the situation fair, but I can accept it with grace. I can choose to have a better attitude. I can choose to move on and leave the past in the past.

So in the spirit of hopefulness, we are signing a lease tonight on a little run down funky house. And we will keep hoping that the bank approves this sale. And I will start packing the things we need and get rid of the things we don't. Downsizing is good, right? Simplicity. That's what I say we're all about around here. I guess it's time for me to live up to it and have a good attitude about it as well.

Maybe if I spent more time enjoying carefree moments like this, a good attitude wouldn't be so hard to find.