Tomorrow

Tomorrow begins a whole new era around here. We are officially out of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Starting tomorrow we will have three big elementary school kids. Yes, my baby will go to kindergarten tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a tearful day I'm afraid. For me, of course, not the kids. They'll be fine. They'll go into school and meet their friends. They'll sit at their desks and learn new things. They'll have lunch and go to art or P.E. or music. They'll get on the bus after they've packed up their own backpack and after they've cleaned up their space. They'll do it all without me. And they'll be wonderful.

This is new for me. I've thrown all of my eggs into the stay-at-home mom basket. I've had at least one child at home with me for the last ten years. Everyone seems very excited for me to have some time alone. I'm not quiet as excited about it. I feel a bit of my relevancy as a stay-at-home mom disappearing. And frankly trying to decide what to do with that time is a bit overwhelming. This is all I've ever done, so it's going to take some time to transition into something else. Not that my kids won't be home at two o'clock and need my attention. I know that I'm still going to very much be a stay-at-home mom. But I'm aware that it's a different kind of effort and attention that they need at these ages. I'm good at the baby, toddler, preschool thing. But maybe that's just because it's familiar. Maybe this will fit too. I just need some time to get used to it. Maybe I can get our house really clean for the first time in ten years. Then again maybe that's just wishful thinking. After all, the children will still live here.

I will have plenty of time in the coming weeks to figure it out. For today I'm going to fill up on hugs and snuggle time. We have one more day to be a little lazy. So we're going to soak it up.


Tomorrow we will get up early. We will soothe first day anxieties. We will brush away tears. We will start another school year.